Have ticket! Aboarding no ticket equal kick out! Man have ticket! Woman have ticket! Pupil have ticket! Baby no ticket!
“Ladies and gentlemen: As you exit please be careful of the gap between the platform and the train. Should you fall through the gap between the platform and the train, you will be captured by the mole people and married off to their pansexual leader, Relf.” –Dan Amira
“A thousand years ago we thought the world was a bowl. Five hundred years ago we knew it was a globe. Today we know it is flat and round and carried through space on the back of a turtle. Don’t you wonder what shape it will turn out to be tomorrow?” –Lord Vetinari
“I guess I wouldn’t believe in anything any more if it weren’t for my lucky astrology mood watch.” –Steve Martin
Austin Williams visits. Alex Bosworth phones. Announce list material. Paul Baum shares info about that homeopathic nuclear power plant disaster in Japan, you remember the one. And what else? …A sort of verbal Venn diagram of the bombing and the bombed. Poetry of drowning. A young girl’s sexual awakening epiphany in the roller skating rink. The true story of fire and mankind and the planet. The New York anti-dissection riots. Feminist pornography. The true story of a man who shared consciousness with an octopus. And lots of other things I can’t seem to call to mind right now. It all starts to blur together when you get as old as I am. You’ll find out.
And here are links to some not necessarily radio-useful but interesting items that I happened upon while putting the show together, that I found mostly thanks to the fine websites listed to your right.
The art of dreams.
Unread book gonna give it to ya.
Some people should not take drugs.
What’s really wrong with genetically modified food? The answer will surprise you.
How to be ultra-spiritual.
Kung Fu Avengers! Sa! Kee-yah!
Five-year-old nunchaku master.*
Elders play Mortal Kombat X.
Would you like to watch a cop roundhouse-punch a handcuffed woman in the face? If you wouldn’t, don’t.
“Your bodice should fit snugly over the wisk to help hold it in place.”
How to get out of professional handcuffs. Need: 1 paperclip and 2 seconds– 3 seconds if it’s the special handcuffs.
There was blood and a single gunshot, but just who shot who?
And tell us what the bus-stop benches are like in America, Poppa.
*Whole billiard parlor walls come a’tumblin’ down. (Our children’s children gonna have /trouble, trouble, trouble/.)
One big problem of time travel. The ground level changes, and you can materialize in the wrong place and ruin your boat.
“Have you tried turning it off and back on again?”
Mark Twain and Nikola Tesla in Tesla’s lab. They were friends, as close friends as Nikola Tesla was capable of being with anyone.
Science! (Skip ahead to around 1:15.)
“Good old Ed. Kind of a loner and maybe a little bit odd with that sense of humor of his, but just the guy to call in to sit with the kiddies when me and the old lady want to go to the show.”
The Nazis’ Woodstock.
Hot wet colored bitches shakin’ that thing. And sometimes licking their nose.
Speaking of which: God only nose.