Aziz, light! /POFF!/ Thank you.
“He says that blood and guts don’t bother him much anymore. What he hates is responding to single-vehicle fatal car accidents (typically drunk drivers). It’s the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere and my brother has to climb into a ditch and peer into a vehicle he knows contains a dead body but the radio still works and is blasting. He says that mariachi music is the creepiest.”
Before the show, to make sure everything was working properly I played a woman’s audio essay about how ancient giant technologically advanced people, possibly from another planet, froze themselves in stasis chambers (she gets it right a couple of times, then it’s “status chambers” the whole rest of the time, and “status giants”) for tens of thousands of years, and have been dug up by the Global Elite, awakened, imprisoned and tortured for information. She has an interesting accent. She sounds like Madeline, who used to operate the box office at Helen Schoeni Theater. Here’s that.
And here are links to a few not necessarily radio-useful but really worthwhile items that I happened upon while putting the show together, found mostly thanks to the fine websites listed to your right.
“The planet is actually the bottom of a glass filled with orange juice, wasabi, half-and-half and tomato sauce, while the moon is a small pancake and the nebula is formed from water, coffee, food coloring and more half-and-half.”
HD time-lapse auroras recorded from space –real ones not made of cat hair, liver paste and/or food coloring but rather of Earth’s near-vacuum upper atmosphere fluorescing under bombardment of charged particles from the sun.
Street booth cotton candy maestro.
Fractal flow chart. (Scroll down to the bottom.)
Gridshifting, and explanation. With video.
Which hybrid house? I got Ravendor.
Which Shakespeare? A decider chart.
Ian’s guide to lacing.
Musical swing project. With video.
Iron & Wine: The Trapeze Swinger.
She’s 90, but /who/ is she. Really.
“Enough is enough, Stephanie. I need to know who’s a good boy. My patience has worn thin.” Everyone’s favorite seems to be Bread Dog. Or Soap Sculpture Dog. Or Beestung Dog.
“New nurse Kristi can throw a urine bottle at 160 kilometers per hour.”
Bad lip reading. Hillary and Bernie. Dalump-ta-duuuuhm.
It’s a cookbook!
Yuba plays the rhumba on the tuba.
Huckaby plays bass on Free Bird.
Al Jolson sings /You Made Me Love You./
Communter train. Drunk young white man calls old black man a nigger over and over. Old black man sits there and takes it for fifteen minutes, then stands up and kicks the shit out of him, kicks him off the train, and sits back down. Video begins right at the satisfying part.
Trump at half-speed. Though, let’s be fair: everyone sounds drunk played at half-speed.
“What is that whipcord resilience that lets the weaker sex play half the night then bob up clear-eyed, ready for the next morning’s work?”
Bendito Machine, Part 5(!). I only ever saw Part 1, thought that was all there was, and look!
Hospital volunteer woman freaks out. Tense/fascinating.
A test. You know who you are.
Nana! Good for you!
Catalogue from Belcher Mosaic Glass Co. (1886)
Some things it seemed like a good idea at the time to spend all our money on.
Enter, then click and slide. You can also move the map, and embiggen and ensmallen it. Just imagine all the stupid fighting and killing over all those arbitrary lines. (See Bendito Machine, Part 5, above.)
Further hot Israeli army girls.
Didn’t think you were fat? You are!
Harvard Sailing Team: Boys will be girls (2010). “You guys wanta split an ice cube or something?”
Girls will be boys (also 2010).
Can toddlers represent themselves in court?
Puff the Magic Dragon was written by the man who invented active electronic 3-D glasses.
Alby the Racist Dragon.
Blandly the cross-eyed bear.
Tripmunks. (3 hours.) (Today is, in fact, the anniversary of Doctor Albert Hoffman’s accidental discovery of the effects of LSD.)
Endless ominously triumphant epic music to just leave playing day and night in one earbud as a background to your life. Not necessarily superior to mariachi music, but it might suit your endeavors better. Excelsior.
Cute and, soon, extinct.
What a giant water lily looks like from underneath.
Literally making an entrance.
I in the sky.
Just a little sponge soaking up information about the world.
“He laughed all the way into orbit.”
He’d be a /little/ less creepy if they’d just close up the back of his head. And stop patting his shoulder and saying how much they love him. And not hold the baby close enough to put its hand in his mouth. Or kill him by switching him off. These things are not under his control.
World quickly corrupts innocent chatbot…
…whose brothers are already flying around blowing shit up and constructing more of themselves.
Fatality counts of mass stampedes.
I love this. It explains so much. Backwards bike.
Also cool. /Why/ persistence of vision works. Our vision system is slow, so image burn and a kind of cellular video memory buffer compensates, and we can enjoy a movie.
We’ve all got one.
That cute foreign person you might fall in love with? Is a spy. (Warning: video autostarts.)
“A drawing of the head of a conceited simpleton.”
The explosion of the Spanish flagship during the battle of Gibraltar.
And if you have a few hours, you can watch the Titanic sink in real time. (Or just skip ahead to about 2:30:00.) (Or 2:39:10, when “There are about 1,500 people still onboard.”) Interesting minimalist soundtrack.
Several opinions on the subject of Jupiter crashing into the Sun.
Also meanwhile (a little perspective):
Don’t look any further.